“Whatup butt-steak? Ready for the fireworks. You better be, gonna see them in 2 days.” the head of
guards smirked at me while I was strolling along the lawns of the Kawi Prison. Kawi Prison. One of the
worst prisons in the states. It had a capacity of about 5000 prisoners.And was a nightmare for each of the
felons present there and Yes, sir I am a convicted felon, proudly residing in the Kawi for the past 10 years
of my life in this hell-hole. One of the many lessons that one learns in prison is, that things are what they
are and will be what they will be. Things in the past 10 years haven’t changed a lot. Every fucking day I try
to wake up knowing that it will not be worth it, every day I am thrown out of my cell to rascals like Billy,
Bogs and The Sisters, every day I am fed same old shit they call food. Every fucking day. And why,
because the god-dammned judge appointed by Uncle Sam thought that I killed my slut of a wife. The same
woman to whom I gave my everything, showered her with expensive gifts, made her feel like a princess she
never was, and what did I get in return. The view of her banging another man in my bedroom while I sat in
the car ready to give her a big surprise. The woman I loved went behind my back and hamstringed me.
Then and there I had this huge urge to take out the .38 Caliber from the glovebox and shove all the bullets
down her and her god-damned lover’s ass. But taking control of my emotions I backed out the driveway
and drove away as far as away from that little piece of shit. And then the fucking judge blames me that I
killed my wife and that he found the god-dammned bullet casings in the river. It’s true that whenever life
screws you up, it ends up being pretty bad, and so for no fucking fault of mine, I was given a 10 year death
sentence which meant that I will have to rot 10 years worth of my life in that prison after which I will be
sacrificed to the upper hand. I just sat there as the Uncle Sams’s servant took hold of my fate and decided
what to do with it. As the hammer struck, guards took hold of me and shoved me down the van taking me
to the worst place I ever imagined in the US of A. That was the year 1949. When my good days bade me
farewell and I anticipated the bad ones. On the outside I was a vice president of J & M Holdings. In the
van along with the other chained felons I was transported to the Kawi Prison. The guards and the their
chief stood at the gates to welcome us into our new homes. The old timers in the prison were anticipating
our new stay and were jeering through the wired walls. Our chained asses were led into the room where a
personal meeting with the Warden was organized.
I am Mr Hadley, the warden of the prison and this is Mr Warton the head of the guards and you are
convicted felons. First rule of the prison would be NO BLASPHEMY. I shall not bear that the lord’s name is
being taken in vain inside the walls of these prisons. The other rules you will figure out as you go on.
There are two main beliefs: Discipline and Bible. Here you will receive both. Put your trust in the lord, your
ass belongs to me.” With that the warden completed his introduction and we were led to the delousing
room. Unhooked and naked, the cold water was thrown at me like a fire-fighter trying to put out a fire. After
which the guards threw some delousing shit making me half blind. After which we were marched to our
cells. Marching us in naked like the day we were born, skin burning with the white shit. The realization
comes when they put you in that cell and the bars slam shut. Nothing but all the time in the world to think
about the old life. As the guards went by and the night strolled in the jackasses went about trying to break
some one down. It was a religion as they said. Somebody or the other always breaks down crying and
don’t quit till they reel some fish in. Soon, they caught one. And the chants began, spranging the guards
up from their slumber and making them walk right towards the prisoner who went down. He protested
against them, tried to convince them that he wasn’t supposed to be here. But Warton was not in the mood
for shit like this. He opened the bars and beat him with an inch of his life. Clueless bastard would not have
thought this was gonna come to him on the very first day. The night dragged by slowly with all kinds of
thoughts swimming by.
A buzzing alarm woke me up in the morning. The sound was accompanied by the guards taking the roll call
of the prisoners. And then we were let out of our little cages. Confused, angry, sad I was at every step.
Why would something like this happen to me? What wrong have I done? and such were the questions
that were keeping me aloof and busy all through the first two months at prison. And let me tell you, the
two years you spend at Kawi prison are the toughest years of your life, not saying that the rest years
become easier for you, but you tend to learn to live with it.
Soon around 7 years of my life passed in that prison.
On the morning of May 17th 1956, while taking a shower with dozen or more men. Not caring about the
modesty I go on. IT has now become a habit to shower along with all of them. Only good thing was that
at least the water was, soothing the tortured muscles of mine, Billy, an ex-boxer looms from the billowing
steam and asks me: “Anybody come at you yet? Anybody get to you yet?”. Feeling disgusted I move out
of the shower and walk towards my cell.
Being in the prison, you are forced to do some kind of productive work. Although you may not like it, but
it kind of becomes necessary for you to keep your mind busy and keep all the godforsaken thoughts at
bay. So in Kawi, we had to work in a laundry which used all kinds of industrial washers and presses. All
though a nightmarish job, it helped me to keep sane in the world of mad-men.
One day while slumming my ass in the laundry, John comes up to me and says:” We are running low on
Hexite Bruce, Head back up and fetch us some.” Obeying the orders I walk to the room of boilers and
furnaces where all kinds of sump pumps, old washing machines, pallets of cleaning supplies and
detergents are kept. Spotting the drum of Hexite, I pick it up and turn around only to find Billy and his
accomplices blocking my way. Peter and Rooster cover me from the sides while Billy looks at me from the
eyes dripping with lust. Grabbing a handful of Hexite, I try to warn them against coming at me. but both
they guys hold me tightly and bend me up against an old washing machine and then Billy comes into
action.What happened next, I guess you should know that. Prison life is no fairytale.
Things like this went on and on for a while. Prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every
month or two, I would show up with all kind of bruises and signs on body. Needless to say, Billy and his
team had found a dumb victim in me. Although I never gave up the fight to save myself, because if I did
not fight, it would make it much more easier not to fight the next time. Sooner, I started having all kinds of
headaches, diarrhea, vomiting and shit.Thinking that it would pass, I did not care too much about it. But
then it started to get worse with time. Getting a bit worried, I go to the infirmary to get myself checked. The
doctor took all kinds of fluids like blood and urine from my body and gave me some medicines and let me
off. After a about a week later, I was summoned to the infirmary and told that I was suffering from AIDS.
being completely aloof to the name, I ask him what is this AIDS shit. And he gives me all the high and low
of the disease. Not believing it, I ask the doc to recheck the data and that he could possibly be wrong.
But the doc said he had rechecked the data more than two times and that he couldn’t possibly be wrong.
All shit broke loose for me. All the “WHY’s” I had avoided for so long came back running to me. I was
angry. I was depressed. I was alone. I wanted to run free from this hell-hole.
My wife used to say that I was a hard man to know. Almost like a closed book. I did love her a
lot, but I think I did not know how to show it. I did kill her. Of course I did not pull the trigger, but I did
drive her away from me, and that is why she died. Now I am running a race towards the death. The path of
my run is yet to be chosen. Will it be by the fucking disease that Billy has fucked me in or by the laws of
After the meeting with the doctor, my life changed a lot for myself but not for the prison. I still had to slum
up in the laundry and still had to catch up with Billy.
Finally it looked like I was supposed to die along the laws penned down by Uncle Sam, and I had my death
in two days. And that day I met Billy. I noticed that he had some paper sheet coming out of his pocket.
After he was finished, I sneaked out the paper and quickly hid it before any of his dumbass friends could
see me stealing it. Walking back to my cell, I waited for the night to come to see what was such a paper
doing in that boxer’s pockets. As the night came and the guards locked down the cells after the evening
count, I quickly scanned the paper and it was nothing but a map of the Kawi prison with some special
markings beside the laundry room.Confusing as it was, I decided to confront him what it was about.
Next day, walking up to Billy. I said: “Billy, I know your little thingy beside the laundry. And I think the
warden would not like your little jiggly hula thing.
Billy:” What the fuck are you talking about dipshit?”
I:” I think you know what I am talking about, you ignorant fuck.” And I take out the piece of paper, much
to his horror.
Billy: ” Bastard. Where the fuck did you get this?” And he punches me.
I: “I don’t think hitting me is going to help you, you fuck. I am gonna go straight to the warden to expose
whatever you have down there. Unless, you tell me what exactly it is.”
Billy:” It is nothing. None of your fucking business.”
I:” Oh. Maybe it is warden’s business then.”
Billy: “Stop! Stop! It is a tunnel. Me, Rooster and Peter have been dugging a tunnel for the past 20 years
of our life in this prison. It is almost complete and we plan to escape today.
I:” Well, too bad, ain’t it. The warden will bust your ass pretty good when he finds out. ”
Billy:” Bastard. You won’t tell the Warden.”
I:” Why do you think I shouldn’t tell the warden? You gave me fucking AIDS. You troubled me at every
step of my life in Kawi. Why the fuck would you think that I wouldn’t tell the warden.”
Billy:” because it gives me one shot at prison Billy. I may have been rude to you. I may have troubled you. But
you know how Kawi is. According to my term I still have 5 more years in this hell hole.”
I:” I will look into the matter Billy.
The whole night I kept on thinking what should I do. Should I expose Billy and his group of bastards,
should I escape with them or should I just keep mum and suffer on, after all Salvation Lies Within.
Finally I came to a conclusion. I have suffered enough. First from my wife, then from the Uncle Sam’s
servants, then every fucking day in Kawi. From today on I will stop the fucking sorry state of my life and
be right to those who are wrong with me. Today I decide to go over my impotency to extract revenge. come
tomorrow I shall expose Billy and his team and deny that bastard his one shot at freedom.