It is already mid-december now.
Wow. 2012 seemed to pass away quickly than expected.I don’t know what to label it as. It was a wacky year, had its share of good and bad bits. I haven’t been writing much now lately. Maybe because the thoughts do not come to me, or the words wont just flow. So I just gave up on it for the time being. I don’t even know what I am doing tight now. It seems I have lost it completely. My thoughts take a different path, my body takes up a different one, and in the end the whole of me gets screwed. Whenever I am down with the feelings that knock on my doors, I somehow tend to hide them away. I have been doing this for so long, it almost seems as if I am hiding away from myself.
2012 has been a whirlwind of emotions. Mostly sad, but the good ones also tried to keep up, but each emotion carried a small story with itself and that is why I cherished and lived through each of them. Maybe that is the way I have lived my life.
2012 will always be the year, where I managed to screw up every thin that seemed important to me. And for what. for re runs of sit-coms, late night stupid textings, mundane activities and what not. And these are the things, I haven’t got completely rid of.
But 2012 will also be special for me because this year I got introduced to my words.Blogging has helped me a lot to let my emotions clustering up in the corner of my heart started to flow in a more meaningful way other than travelling through ears.
2012 was also the year in which I think I lost my bit of faith in the thing called LOVE. The idea of love was really appealing to me. The kind of feelings that go through you when you are in love seemed a lot attractive when they were written on a piece of paper, but when you get to experience Love, it has nothing but disappointment in it. There is insecurity everywhere. And LOVE has transformed from something magical-happening once in a lifetime to some random emotion-every other week.
I just got into college and things seem pretty fine the way they are. Though it feels like I don’t fit in here, nor do I wanna stay here, but I dont have a say in that matter, so let it be.
I now sit in here in the middle of the night, typing away, trying to recollect as many thoughts,feelings that have been stuck in me. 2012 changed me into ways more than one> i guess it is time for me to break free from the shell that I have created over me and try to do something that actually makes me feel good. I don’t know how much time this will take or what do I have to do to break free. But I am sure, I am not gonna be going down without a fight.