This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda
There she was, sitting across the class while the physics lecture was on.In the midst of the Newton and Einstein I was here drawing my equations of feelings and love in my notebook hoping it would not be noticed by anyone. Drowning myself completely in the beautiful equations, I sat there day dreaming all the scenarios that could make up any regular Bollywood film. Seeing me pay so much attention to the draconian equations on the board, my teacher slowly and subtly started walking towards me. Snapping me out of delightful dreams, my friend let me know of the approaching teacher. Making quick decisions to save the embarrassment in front of the whole class, I subtly turned my pages so as to not attract any unwanted attention to my lovey dovey equations of me and my crush . After crossing this hurdle successfully. I decided not to play a lone warrior but to include another warrior into my plan to ask this “girl of my dreams out”. Being in high school, you have to be careful of every step you take in your love life. Your fellow students are more interested in their surrounding love lives, and one wrong step can scar your school memories for life. So stepping into this field is like stepping into a field filled with live Land mines. And so I included this friend of mine to help me with my plan. Told him how deeply I loved this girl, and that she could be the one for me forever. Of course we don’t know who we were kidding back then. But saying such phrases makes it more viable to other person and makes you sound serious. Anyway, so this friend first of all started to beat me up for not telling him earlier and then started to plan the operation like an army general about to step into a war. And so the cycle started. The first day after telling my friend about my feelings, I started to regret it. Every-time her name would come up in the class, he would punch and a sly smile would surface on his face. Then more annoying things started to happen. Putting me and her in the same game team. Teaming us up as the laboratory partners, and all sorts of such stuff. High School, I tell you. And so it went on and on for a quiet while. For once I could not muster up enough courage to go talk to her and second the effects of such words or the consequences would storm into my magnificent day dreams. What would happen if she said no? What would happen if she spread it across the school? What would happen if she told to her parents? What would happen if she mentioned it to the teachers or my parents? I’d be scarred for life. And so half of my year went by in such mundane dreams. My friend often threatened me that if I did not let her know of my feelings, he would be tell her and then I would not be able to establish as an alpha-male. Filled with all these concerns plus the inevitable study schedules did not allow me to approach. And according to my friend, every day should have been the day on which I should have confessed my feelings. Well, it is not so easy to overcome those stomach turmoils whenever you see the person. And I am pretty sure she must have thought that I would be crazy. For every time I approached her, my bood would switch to panic mode, sweat would cover each of my body part and all my courage would stoop down to levels than my grades. Finally, after the half-yearly’s, it seemed that lord finally opened up his gates and a gift in the terms of a picnic came into my life. High school picnics can be the worst or the best. This time we were going on a trip to a garden area for a day’s picnic. As soon as the announcement was done of this blessing, my friend started to plan out the whole thin of me confessing like it was a matter of national importance. But I knew what was going to happen.We had planned before.
We plan, I approach the field and the girl and then all hell breaks loose. And I return with a pen or a pencil. By now I am sure she would have started to think that I don’t even buy pens of my own. Sigh.
Anyway, so we planned it out. My friend is going to ask her to come near the toy train station near the ice cream parlor of the garden. I am gonna be standing there with freshly plucked flowers from the garden and then gonna confess with the three words. And then she is going to say yes and then we are goin to be happily ever after. ( Yes I know too filmy and bollywood-ish, but kya karein contro nahi hota.)
But this was just on paper. And it was too old. After all today’s teenagers prefer to confess each of their emotions via the messaging angel blessed upon the,. At-least it saves them from the face to face embarrassment Still, wanting to be embarrassed I decided to face the dire situation bravely and not without any help of the text messaging gods.
Finally the D-day arrived.
It all started as just another day but with an abnormally fast paced heart and pro active sweat glands of mine. After all the student counting and procedures, the buses were packed with over enthusiastic students along with their bad singing skills. After about 15 minutes in the bus we finally arrived at the scene. Like a pack of wild animals set out in the jungle after months of captivation we ran out of our teacher’s hold and took control of the area. Some people played football around, some girls climbed trees, some just sat and gorged on the copious amounts of food they brought from home. While me and my friend were going over the plan. After revising it for about three to four times, I finally decided to do it. It would be happen now or never, and thus I stepped into the battlefield all ready to go.
As per the plan, my friend asked her to come around the toy train station, while I made myself comfortable near the ice cream parlor They both then accompanied me at the ice cream, after which my friend ran off citing some football problems, leaving me and her alone.
The conversation at first started with a random talks about classes, efficient display of hate towards a particular teacher and the principal, slowly the conversation began to steer towards the love lives.
“Aur bata, you seeing someone right now?” I asked.
“Naa yaar. Koi acha milta hi nahi. Kya karun?”
“Arre Arre, tujhe koi acha nahi milta. Aise Kaise? Itni pretty toh hai tu.”
At points like these, your brain just stops working and the tongue develops a tempoarary brain of itself which is not in our hands.
“Haha. Yahi main bhi sochti hun. Why arent you with someone btw?”
“Koi mili hi nahi yaar. Mera haal tere jaisa hi hai. You like someone or what?”
“Not at present, but would like to. Bahut single life ho gayi re. You like someone?”
“You.” spit out my tongue like a deranged venomous snake. And that was the moment that stood still. My eyes stared into her, her stared into mine. My ears kept waiting for the most beautiful monosyllable word at that time. It seemed like an eternity before she spoke anything.
“Me? How come Arjunn? I mean, kab se?”
“From the start of this year Sneha. I just dont know why. All I know is that I Love you.”
“Let me tell you something Arjun, I also have had a small crush on you since after the half-yearly.”
I then proceeded to give her a small hug and it turned out to be a pretty good day. I felt like I was on the top of the world. That feeling of exhilaration took over me and surpassed and I went back happy and day dreaming about Me and Sneha being together forever.
Though we did not last longer than a year. But still, it was the first time I ever poured my heart in such a way and it will stay a vivid memory for me ever.