A moment to talk about you..!!



When the lights go out
and the moon goes down
I walk the road
where no steps were found

and on the knees
down to the ground
head down
and music goes loud

I heard the screams
I saw them bleed
mixed theories in me
I am a machine of dreams

I got a soul
fighting so alone
this is enough
or I just cant take it much
more and more
saw the only eyes so pure

and now its like another dream to remember
and some pictures for cure
I see I lost
back in memories to explore

Something was nice
quiet bright
so sweet
you can jus die living it

when the leaves leave the tree
I saw my dream going away from me
I screamed but my voice lost somewhere behind
I rushed but the road ended
just on my next step everything vanished

I remember I was glad
to be with my dream not so sad
I was complete not broken
and now even the mirror of me made me lost in circles

In circles , I was endlessly swallown
by the nightmares all the way with me to my limitations
and I dont even got a photograph to smile once
just got lonliness to be with for months

Death , and the road ends
thats all! and no suspense?
I am a story of life
and now the moments started making sense

What how and why?
with only my memories
i cry
tears fall from my eyes
all these true lies
i dont need no reasons for my lines

and its just me ends
on the road with lonliness
like drops of water so pure
burned under fire for cure…

On friendships and shit!! :)


FRIENDSHIP:

1:  the state of being a friend; association as friends; to value a person’s friendship

2: a friendly relation or intimacy

3: friendly feeling or disposition

 

The exact words popped up when I looked up the word FRIENDSHIP on a dictionary. Much like every other thing in the world, the meaning is also sugar-coated with a cherry on top. What it doesn’t say is that FRIENDSHIPS comprise of immense disappointment, are filled with insecurity and never stay FOREVER as all those people say.

***

He looked at the screen of his phone. His chat window with Aesha was open. His thumbs danced on the screen wondering whether he should send her a message or not. He wanted to go out, eat something, talk to someone. If it were a year ago, he wouldn’t have wondered so much and dropped in a quick message, but now the TIMES HAD CHANGED.

~~~

It was the last day of school. The farewell night. Filled with promises of being together, swelled up eyes, signed shirts swarmed the place. And then all bid their good-byes. But there were two students, Rahul and Aesha. They did not say their good bye to each other. Smiling throughout the farewell, they were treating this like just another day in their lives. No they were not in love with each other. They were the best of friends, at least to Rahul. Aesha meant very much to him. Not a day passed by, without him not talking to her. He would tell her all kinds of things to her, opened his heart to her and she complied. Aesha had a boyfriend Stephen. They started being together in the middle of their 11th grade although Stephen was after Aesha since 7th grade. They looked perfect with each other and everyone said that they were the couple that would last forever. Also Stephen was Rahul’s best friend. These two were inseparable. You know a perfect high school story. But this is not Stephen’s story. It is not Aesha’s tale. It is Rahul’s. And thus their school got over. It seemed like nothing had changed. Aesha and Rahul still talked almost daily. Slowly their colleges began. Still nothing changed. They still talked to each other on a daily basis, still hung out with each other almost every other week. What was different was that Aesha got into a pretty college and mixed very well with the crowd there and soon there was her group whereas Rahul did get into a college but could not mix in so easily with the crowd. He just could not blend in. It did not affect him much because he had Aesha as his BEST FRIEND. He thought nothing was wrong and carried on with his college. Slowly the wings of time started to change and Aesha now had started to enjoy her college and everything and slowly her conversations with Rahul started to phase out. At first, from daily it became once in 2-3 days, then once in a week and then it became once in a month or so. Though this did not affect Aesha much, it did have an effect on Rahul. Now he noticed how much of a loner he had become. He used to sit alone at lunch hours in his college. He did not want to confront Aesha because he thought she would think of him as a loser and thus he started to keep everything to himself. He never talked about this to anyone. Not even to Stephen because even a mention of Aesha to him would make him sad as they had broken up and Stephen could not bear it even though he tried to hide it in his smile. Rahul started to get accustomed to his loneliness. Even if he asked Aesha out to hang out or something, she would always seem busy and so after a while he even stopped doing that. Carrying on he started to realize the truths about FRIENDSHIPS. They don’t last forever. Like everything in the world, even FRIENDSHIPS come to an end. Slowly, he started to trust people less and less; Afraid of trusting them so much to the point and then losing them was an experience he did not prefer to revisit. But he did not show the world that he had been affected. He smiled through it all. People say love break ups are hard, but when friendships break, it hurts even more.  He finally put his phone down, went outside alone and spent time with himself. At least this time he wouldn’t be betrayed or let down by someone.

 

***

This would seem like just another high school tale. A random teenager ranting out his feelings on his stupid blog or stuff. Though the story is fictional, what prompted me to write this one was that how people choose to ignore it. Always trying to look at the bright side. Always wanting to know who’s your best friend? How did it you friends meet? What was the story? Well in this story Rahul and Aesha met when Aesha took admission into Rahul’s school in 5th standard. And then till 12th they were the best of friends. Only till 12th. J  I am not saying this was Aesha’s fault or anything. Nor am I saying Rahul was the victim here. He also might have treated some people like that. He could have been some people’s world and would have let them down.  After all people do CHANGE. They move one. Find better people. Find people they are more comfortable with. It just takes some people more time than others to find them.

***

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

A night


An eerie silence haunts me
The swirling fan above scares me
Bounded by hopeless thoughts
and mindless worries
the blanket seems to suffocate me.

The time drags away slowly
Tick-tock Tick-tock

I should have said something
Done something.
After all, they say
“Love is worth fighting for”
But I did not fight.
All I did was watch
As the one who made the world better with her smile
Drew away slowly
And all I did was watch.

The moon gently smiles at me through the window
And the wind caresses me like a
mother caresses her child.
My worries seem to slowly dwindle away
As if the mother nature cast a patronus of hope
And the dementors of the past backed away.