Straight from the heart.


There will come a morning, a chilly winter morning, you, covered up in your warm fuzzy blankets, your body refusing to get up and your mind knowing it has to get up will listen to the body instead and you’ll just lay there, in that comfort, in that warm area clutching a pillow tightly to your heart and out of the blue, you’ll be reminded. Reminded of the person who you once so dearly loved, the one who you cared so much about, the one who you thought was made for you and then you’ll start to miss them. Their words, their voice during the calls, that beautiful smile which laced her face when you cracked a stupid joke. You’ll switch on your computer, log on to your FaceBook page and start to look that person up. Your heart beats loudly as the page loads and you start to go through their pictures and wall-feeds. While going through the timeline, you’ll read something that will make you close your eyes instantly and make you wish that you could just reverse your life for a few mins and wish you hadn’t read that. You’ll just sit their blankly reading the words again and again, knowing fully that each time you read them, you die a little inside. You won’t know how you will deal with yourself and curse yourself for evening opening her facebook page. But you did give into that sweet little temptation. And so you start blaming, her, yourself, god and everything that comes to your mind. You start asking questions to yourself. You did not love her enough? She did not love you enough? It was all fake from her? and so on and so forth. The questions continue and so does the intense turmoil inside you. You go through a seething amount of pain, and somehow you wished it were a physical pain, because it would be easier to deal with. Because then your heart and your feelings wouldn’t be fucking around your whole body, it would just be one spot through which the blood is running out and that is something you can stop. but you cannot stop the constant questions and the feelings along with them. They just prop out of nowhere to mess with you and you cannot do anything but be messed up.

 

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